where does one begin... i think the first tracks i ever began to work on were 'Intervene', 'the Taste of a Tear' and 'No Heaven'... i began writing those just working through from one track to the next. if i got bored with one, id move on... learning how to sing had been the other issue. i had really only done backing vocals up to that point, so figuring that out; just where i was coming from, was probably the hardest part...
one day i caught this TV show Intervention... and it really latched onto me. how people become so dependent on all kinds of shit in their life, even beyond substances; like dependency on other people. that really felt like something i could relate to, both with the rest of the world and personally. that oppressive vibe of banging your head against a wall, digging your way out of a hole with the blackest soil just pounding back down on your face... screaming at God to throw you a fucking rope. its most terrifying when you realize you've dug the hole yourself... all you want is to get the fuck out... whatever the cost. in the back of your mind, theres this thing; this itch. you remember scratching it will bring relief, but you realize its a different kind of relief that you need now... and thats the the fucking battle right there.
freeing myself from a dependency on a particular relationship was one of the toughest things ive ever had to do... after clawing and digging, begging for that moment in the end where the sunlight finally kisses your face... damn... even a 40 day flood would be a release. just flush it all away and let me begin again, please...
-Paul
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